Dang Jan, not sure where to start, except perhaps to say I'm left with the feeling that you're my people and I'm really glad we're going to get a chance to talk. The overall premise that "What matters most is not getting results it’s being in alignment with what you care most about so that the results you get actually matter." is one that makes my heart sing to hear someone else say. Not that I've ever said that clearly or directly. It's brilliant. And, it's the whole frickin' point of being here! Absolutely love it. Also, the death-phobic nature of our culture I have noticed of all late is definitely inside of me. I've been more aware lately of this running/accomplishing focus and habit, so the reminder that embracing life cannot occur without facing mortality is welcomed. Thank you. Much more here to unpack, but looking forward to connecting for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Rick, you made my day! So glad my piece resonated with you. I had some doubts whether what I'm talking about is something people care about and can connect with. You've just alleviated my doubts, so thank you!
And I'm also looking forward to talking to you. I had a feeling we might be "cut from the same cloth" as soon as I read your introduction.
Jan, I’m in Rick’s WriteHearted group. Just a quick note on your comment here that you wonder if what you write about is something people care about and can connect with.
From my perspective, this is an all-out yes. Your approach sounds like it aligns with addressing the most fundamental questions anyone can ask: why am I here? What do I want? What do I love?
Kathy, thank you so much for your feedback and for confirming that I'm not the only one who believes this is something that needs to exist in the world. You have no idea how much of a relief that is. It's also a bit scary, because now I feel the responsibility to actually go through with all of this, but I believe I'll grow into that over time. Thank you!
I understand. Feels like we’re creating a new societal paradigm. A new mindset. It’s heady stuff. Challenging to go where we personally have never gone and where society hasn’t either. Living at that space on the edge might be like early pioneers exploring an unknown wilderness and having to survive their first winter. WriteHearted is like a day spa for pioneers in the wilderness.
I've recently been reading A Secular Age by Charles Taylor. It does a great job of identifying and highlighting not only what it means to live in this modern age (as you identified with the machine which I agree with) and to trace the history, but also to illuminate the underlying narratives of our modern age that we really can't see. It's been really powerful for me in seeing what I felt but didn't have words for.
I really like your action plan for a new type of coaching. I've worked with some spiritual coaches who do the same. It's such a rich field to play in. I'm excited to see what comes of it.
Yes! I'm with you, Jan. I think of it as helping people to steward the all important shift from 'role' to 'soul' or from 'ego' to 'essence.' Such a mysterious, precious and life-altering transition, which especially seems to surface around mid-life. I don't believe that you can learn this kind of coaching through a typical coaching coarse (although that type of coaching still has its place).
I have found that the capacity to hold space for people so that they can discover their deeper resonance, as you put it, has resulted from my own experiential processing, rather than learning intellectual concepts and coaching processes. Reminds me of the saying that we can only lead someone as far as we have gone ourselves. The best training for this kind of coaching is doing our own inner work...entering our depths and returning with fresh perspective, and a deeper, more authentic connection (or resonance) to 'source.'
I'm so encouraged that you are journeying with people in this way. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Dan. You put that so eloquently - from role to soul and from ego to essence. And I completely agree that this kind of coaching is not something you can formally learn, or that depends on any specific techniques. Because it's not about 'doing'. It's not something that happens (just) in our heads. If anything, you're 'doing' less and instead hold space for being to emerge.
I also like that saying you shared. The only compass we have for navigating this uncharted path is within ourselves. So your idea of doing your inner work as 'training' to help others along on this uncharted path makes a lot of sense to me.
Jan, I think your essay is outstanding and hopeful, for lack of a more precise word. I’m naturally drawn to Christian deconstruction and metaphysics. Among others, I’ve studied a book called A Course in Miracles for many years. What’s incredulous to me today overlaps what you’ve written, that we’re hesitant to acknowledge our own mortality. There’s still entrenched thought about a puppeteer God in the sky who created us and judges us at death. It creates the disconnect you talk about. Feeling disconnected from our Source of consciousness helps create disconnect with each other, also. We spend large chunks of time in fear with this model. ACIM, especially useful for Christians or ex-Christians to reframe God, sin, salvation, forgiveness and other words, recasts consciousness in terms of oneness, wholeness, original love. Ego resembles your machine reference. Ego masks soul-level love, which is everyone’s essence. Much of American society today seems to live in some form of disconnection from themselves (I.e., living a fearful life), each other and any experience of higher power or Source. The rise of Christian nationalism speaks to how ingrained this “god in the sky” is, part love, part wrath. There’s astonishing disconnect happening on many levels. But there’s also this bigger picture emerging of wholeness, oneness and love as life’s foundation. So we have a mishmash of belief systems colliding today, some fighting for power, others understanding this is a cooperative effort in temporary space-time physicality until the body passes and the soul continues. “In the world but not of it.”
All this to say— your ideas excite me. Your coaching approach really, truly excites me.
I hope you join WriteHearted. You’d fit right in. It’s a truly astonishing group of people with top-notch integrity and quite fascinating backgrounds. Members are all over the world. I happen to be in Colorado.
Looking forward to reading much more of your work.
Kathy, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. A Course in Miracles is one of those books people keep mentioning to me, but so far I haven't gotten around to reading it. I guess I should really bump it up a few places in my TBR stack.
I believe we live in a time of turbulence, where old stories are collapsing, which is uncomfortable, but which also offers a chance of making room for that emerging, bigger picture you talk about - a picture that doesn't deny the old stories, but updates them so they become believable again and form connections amongst each other so that the bigger picture becomes visible over time.
I really appreciate your feedback and I'm so happy about your excitement - I can feel it through your words :-)
Regarding WriteHearted - at this point I pretty much made up my mind that I'll join if Rick will let me ;-) So I hope we'll soon have a chance to talk some more, Kathy!
ACIM is more than a book. It helps to have a group discussion - it's not just a "read," it's an unfolding, and a discussion. Sure, you can just read it. But it's when you bounce those ideas off of multiple minds, that the miracles manifest.
Sorry for the late reply, JC. I saw that you commented, got distracted, and then forgot. Anyway, thank you for sharing your view on ACIM. I'll keep that in mind when (NOT if!) I eventually get around to it.
You’re so right about not denying the old stories but rather updating them to help us all connect. For some of us, the old stories buried us alive as it were. But this is still a cooperative endeavor. We’re all creating this as we go. We’re all both whole and part of the whole.
So happy to have met you.
About ACIM, it’s not for everyone but quite helpful for Christians moving into a larger, universal understanding of oneness that excludes no one. It gives Christianity a chiropractic adjustment. Not everyone needs their Christian neck cracked.🤣
Right now, having read this piece you've written on the train to Lviv, I'm feeling a thrumming excitement as I'm waiting for the kaleidoscopic swirl of thoughts and impressions to settle. We're in the center of time together, with Rick and Latham and Dan who have already commented, the bunch of us grinning at each other on the zoom screen in my mind. How generous of you to unfold this path of meaning and purpose, inviting us to join you and appreciate the view! As I was reading, I had the impulse to copy one sentence because it speaks to the heart of my own writing: "This matters because we don’t choose what matters to us. We are drawn to whatever matters to us!" Here's the essence of individuality, the magnetic signal of one's inner compass, that guides each of us to creative growth and fulfillment, in resonant coherence with All That Is.
Most of my first six years of life were spent in post-war Germany where my father was "cleaning up after the war." As I approached mid-life, I became a psychotherapist specializing in trauma, working and studying for 30 years. Retiring now, I'm writing about how the fresh experience of simple pleasure raises the tide of wellbeing in post trauma growth. As you say, "we are drawn to whatever matters to us," and pleasure is a guide. What cosmic fun to share views that honor the depths and complexity of life while spontaneously, unpredictably, moving toward what we each love and value! My thanks to Rick for the link to this piece; I joined Write Hearted in June for just this reason, to collaborate and celebrate through this medium of writing, but with the opportunity for ongoing conversations in small groups, stirring up the fires of meaning we each tend in our own hearts. Might you join us?
Alden, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment (and for the sub!). It's SO encouraging to read this, and now I'm grinning as well, together with you, Rick, Latham and Dan.
Thank you as well for granting me a glimpse into your biography. I'm currently in the process of getting my therapy license, so your background as a psychotherapist is super interesting to me. I can definitely see an overlap between your work and mine.
I've talked to Rick just last Friday, and everything he told me about Write Hearted made me want to join. We kinda agreed that I'll join in January, although that's not final, yet. But Alden, your comment just gave me another reason to want to join!
Oh my. So I’ve heard about Germany especially; what important work to do. I have such tenderness for Munich, where I lived. We went to Davos briefly a few years ago, and the trip to Munich would have been only a couple of hours or so, but we didn’t have time. I’ll see it again eventually. For now I’m looking forward to reading more of your writing!
I’m so glad! We do have great fun at WH. January would be a perfect time to join; we’ll all be in the calm of the new year, dreaming of what comes next. Good luck getting your license! Are you in Europe? I’ve heard the process is quite rigorous. I wish you the best, and it will be fun to discuss the territory when we can meet.
That sounds awesome, Alden! And thank you. Looking forward to getting to know you better and chatting with you. Yes, I'm in Europe. In Germany, actually, where you spent part of your childhood :-) You're right, getting a therapy license here is quite a rigorous process.
Dang Jan, not sure where to start, except perhaps to say I'm left with the feeling that you're my people and I'm really glad we're going to get a chance to talk. The overall premise that "What matters most is not getting results it’s being in alignment with what you care most about so that the results you get actually matter." is one that makes my heart sing to hear someone else say. Not that I've ever said that clearly or directly. It's brilliant. And, it's the whole frickin' point of being here! Absolutely love it. Also, the death-phobic nature of our culture I have noticed of all late is definitely inside of me. I've been more aware lately of this running/accomplishing focus and habit, so the reminder that embracing life cannot occur without facing mortality is welcomed. Thank you. Much more here to unpack, but looking forward to connecting for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Rick, you made my day! So glad my piece resonated with you. I had some doubts whether what I'm talking about is something people care about and can connect with. You've just alleviated my doubts, so thank you!
And I'm also looking forward to talking to you. I had a feeling we might be "cut from the same cloth" as soon as I read your introduction.
Jan, I’m in Rick’s WriteHearted group. Just a quick note on your comment here that you wonder if what you write about is something people care about and can connect with.
From my perspective, this is an all-out yes. Your approach sounds like it aligns with addressing the most fundamental questions anyone can ask: why am I here? What do I want? What do I love?
Kathy, thank you so much for your feedback and for confirming that I'm not the only one who believes this is something that needs to exist in the world. You have no idea how much of a relief that is. It's also a bit scary, because now I feel the responsibility to actually go through with all of this, but I believe I'll grow into that over time. Thank you!
I understand. Feels like we’re creating a new societal paradigm. A new mindset. It’s heady stuff. Challenging to go where we personally have never gone and where society hasn’t either. Living at that space on the edge might be like early pioneers exploring an unknown wilderness and having to survive their first winter. WriteHearted is like a day spa for pioneers in the wilderness.
: )
I've recently been reading A Secular Age by Charles Taylor. It does a great job of identifying and highlighting not only what it means to live in this modern age (as you identified with the machine which I agree with) and to trace the history, but also to illuminate the underlying narratives of our modern age that we really can't see. It's been really powerful for me in seeing what I felt but didn't have words for.
I really like your action plan for a new type of coaching. I've worked with some spiritual coaches who do the same. It's such a rich field to play in. I'm excited to see what comes of it.
Well, that book goes straight to the top of my reading list - thanks for the tip, Latham!
And thank you for your feedback and encouragement. It's very encouraging and reassuring to hear there are others doing similar work.
Yes! I'm with you, Jan. I think of it as helping people to steward the all important shift from 'role' to 'soul' or from 'ego' to 'essence.' Such a mysterious, precious and life-altering transition, which especially seems to surface around mid-life. I don't believe that you can learn this kind of coaching through a typical coaching coarse (although that type of coaching still has its place).
I have found that the capacity to hold space for people so that they can discover their deeper resonance, as you put it, has resulted from my own experiential processing, rather than learning intellectual concepts and coaching processes. Reminds me of the saying that we can only lead someone as far as we have gone ourselves. The best training for this kind of coaching is doing our own inner work...entering our depths and returning with fresh perspective, and a deeper, more authentic connection (or resonance) to 'source.'
I'm so encouraged that you are journeying with people in this way. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Dan. You put that so eloquently - from role to soul and from ego to essence. And I completely agree that this kind of coaching is not something you can formally learn, or that depends on any specific techniques. Because it's not about 'doing'. It's not something that happens (just) in our heads. If anything, you're 'doing' less and instead hold space for being to emerge.
I also like that saying you shared. The only compass we have for navigating this uncharted path is within ourselves. So your idea of doing your inner work as 'training' to help others along on this uncharted path makes a lot of sense to me.
Jan, I think your essay is outstanding and hopeful, for lack of a more precise word. I’m naturally drawn to Christian deconstruction and metaphysics. Among others, I’ve studied a book called A Course in Miracles for many years. What’s incredulous to me today overlaps what you’ve written, that we’re hesitant to acknowledge our own mortality. There’s still entrenched thought about a puppeteer God in the sky who created us and judges us at death. It creates the disconnect you talk about. Feeling disconnected from our Source of consciousness helps create disconnect with each other, also. We spend large chunks of time in fear with this model. ACIM, especially useful for Christians or ex-Christians to reframe God, sin, salvation, forgiveness and other words, recasts consciousness in terms of oneness, wholeness, original love. Ego resembles your machine reference. Ego masks soul-level love, which is everyone’s essence. Much of American society today seems to live in some form of disconnection from themselves (I.e., living a fearful life), each other and any experience of higher power or Source. The rise of Christian nationalism speaks to how ingrained this “god in the sky” is, part love, part wrath. There’s astonishing disconnect happening on many levels. But there’s also this bigger picture emerging of wholeness, oneness and love as life’s foundation. So we have a mishmash of belief systems colliding today, some fighting for power, others understanding this is a cooperative effort in temporary space-time physicality until the body passes and the soul continues. “In the world but not of it.”
All this to say— your ideas excite me. Your coaching approach really, truly excites me.
I hope you join WriteHearted. You’d fit right in. It’s a truly astonishing group of people with top-notch integrity and quite fascinating backgrounds. Members are all over the world. I happen to be in Colorado.
Looking forward to reading much more of your work.
All this
Kathy, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. A Course in Miracles is one of those books people keep mentioning to me, but so far I haven't gotten around to reading it. I guess I should really bump it up a few places in my TBR stack.
I believe we live in a time of turbulence, where old stories are collapsing, which is uncomfortable, but which also offers a chance of making room for that emerging, bigger picture you talk about - a picture that doesn't deny the old stories, but updates them so they become believable again and form connections amongst each other so that the bigger picture becomes visible over time.
I really appreciate your feedback and I'm so happy about your excitement - I can feel it through your words :-)
Regarding WriteHearted - at this point I pretty much made up my mind that I'll join if Rick will let me ;-) So I hope we'll soon have a chance to talk some more, Kathy!
ACIM is more than a book. It helps to have a group discussion - it's not just a "read," it's an unfolding, and a discussion. Sure, you can just read it. But it's when you bounce those ideas off of multiple minds, that the miracles manifest.
Sorry for the late reply, JC. I saw that you commented, got distracted, and then forgot. Anyway, thank you for sharing your view on ACIM. I'll keep that in mind when (NOT if!) I eventually get around to it.
Fabulous about WH!!!
You’re so right about not denying the old stories but rather updating them to help us all connect. For some of us, the old stories buried us alive as it were. But this is still a cooperative endeavor. We’re all creating this as we go. We’re all both whole and part of the whole.
So happy to have met you.
About ACIM, it’s not for everyone but quite helpful for Christians moving into a larger, universal understanding of oneness that excludes no one. It gives Christianity a chiropractic adjustment. Not everyone needs their Christian neck cracked.🤣
Right now, having read this piece you've written on the train to Lviv, I'm feeling a thrumming excitement as I'm waiting for the kaleidoscopic swirl of thoughts and impressions to settle. We're in the center of time together, with Rick and Latham and Dan who have already commented, the bunch of us grinning at each other on the zoom screen in my mind. How generous of you to unfold this path of meaning and purpose, inviting us to join you and appreciate the view! As I was reading, I had the impulse to copy one sentence because it speaks to the heart of my own writing: "This matters because we don’t choose what matters to us. We are drawn to whatever matters to us!" Here's the essence of individuality, the magnetic signal of one's inner compass, that guides each of us to creative growth and fulfillment, in resonant coherence with All That Is.
Most of my first six years of life were spent in post-war Germany where my father was "cleaning up after the war." As I approached mid-life, I became a psychotherapist specializing in trauma, working and studying for 30 years. Retiring now, I'm writing about how the fresh experience of simple pleasure raises the tide of wellbeing in post trauma growth. As you say, "we are drawn to whatever matters to us," and pleasure is a guide. What cosmic fun to share views that honor the depths and complexity of life while spontaneously, unpredictably, moving toward what we each love and value! My thanks to Rick for the link to this piece; I joined Write Hearted in June for just this reason, to collaborate and celebrate through this medium of writing, but with the opportunity for ongoing conversations in small groups, stirring up the fires of meaning we each tend in our own hearts. Might you join us?
Alden, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment (and for the sub!). It's SO encouraging to read this, and now I'm grinning as well, together with you, Rick, Latham and Dan.
Thank you as well for granting me a glimpse into your biography. I'm currently in the process of getting my therapy license, so your background as a psychotherapist is super interesting to me. I can definitely see an overlap between your work and mine.
I've talked to Rick just last Friday, and everything he told me about Write Hearted made me want to join. We kinda agreed that I'll join in January, although that's not final, yet. But Alden, your comment just gave me another reason to want to join!
Oh my. So I’ve heard about Germany especially; what important work to do. I have such tenderness for Munich, where I lived. We went to Davos briefly a few years ago, and the trip to Munich would have been only a couple of hours or so, but we didn’t have time. I’ll see it again eventually. For now I’m looking forward to reading more of your writing!
I’m so glad! We do have great fun at WH. January would be a perfect time to join; we’ll all be in the calm of the new year, dreaming of what comes next. Good luck getting your license! Are you in Europe? I’ve heard the process is quite rigorous. I wish you the best, and it will be fun to discuss the territory when we can meet.
That sounds awesome, Alden! And thank you. Looking forward to getting to know you better and chatting with you. Yes, I'm in Europe. In Germany, actually, where you spent part of your childhood :-) You're right, getting a therapy license here is quite a rigorous process.